Risk Rap

Rapping About a World at Risk

Poor Sarah’s Almanac

I was one of the 5 million viewers that caught Sarah Palin’s Alaska Reality TV show last night.  As one would expect,  Alaska  effectively mixed a number of conservative informed Sarahisms with a scripted version of her common man family life.   If you consider common having airplanes pull up to your dock to fly you off to Denali for a day, or a luxury RV trucking you around the Alaskan Outback or having a TV studio room in your home so husband Todd can video you for this afternoons Fox News segment, Sarah is pretty much like the rest of us.

As America’s foremost conservative political celebrity,  Alaska keeps the myth of Sarah alive and well.  America’s impish sweetheart, Sarah is the adoring girl next door who might become president.  Alaska will showcase Sarah in a most positive light to reinforce her connection with the millions of hockey moms and Joe the wannabe plumbers who can’t get enough of the Momma Grizzly in Chief.   The segment I watched followed Sarah and family through a typical week of quality family time and the demanding work political celebrity requires.  Last nights segment showed Sarah and Todd scaling Denali, navigating cravasse laden glaciers, baking cookies, RVing around with the extended family (while  ignoring each other as they texted on Blackberries) fishing for sockeye and watching momma grizzles (brown bears actually) defend their young.  Alaska combines image interlaced with conservative messaging that is produced to give Sarah’s countrymen reason to pause to consider what her role will be in America’s most compelling tale of  political theater.

I’m will attempt to record some of Sarah’s comments from the show that capture the spirit and thoughts of this great political thespian.

The following Sarahisms were spoken last night:

On a journalist who rented a house next door to write an unflattering book about Sarah.

“He spies on us.  So Todd built this fence to block his view.  See how easy it is to keep the undesirables out.” If only Sarah were governor of Arizona, Texas, New Mexico and California.  Maybe we can make her Viceroy of Southern Territories, Prefect for The Gadsden Purchase.

Returning from a day of flying over Denali with family, disembarking plane and going into the house.

Said Sarah to her youngest daughter, “See the nosy journalist neighbor trying to get a good look at us.  He was stuck in his house all day while we were out having fun.” Girls just wanna have fun.

On a gate that blocks access to upstairs rooms for baby Tripp.

“See this gate, it keeps boys out of upstairs bedrooms.” Kinda like closing the barn door after the horse got out?

On watching a mother brown bear chase off another brown bear getting too close to her young cubs.

See how the momma grizzly protects the future of the species.” If only the oil companies would be so concerned.

On Todd landing a sockeye during their fishing expedition.

“Thats the way it should be.  A man brings home the bacon to his family.” Whats TLC,  Fox and Sarah’s PAC get paid with, chopped liver?

On Todd when he was video taping Sarah for a Fox News segment.

“Todd don’t speak much.  He’s a man of few words but when he speaks he really got something to say.  His  words carry  real weight. Still waters run deep.” So the First Iron Doggin Dude can actually speak!  No Comment.

When Sarah was rock climbing, her progress was momentarily halted.

“I got to keep going.  Nobody is going to rescue me.” At least she was attached to a safety rope.  Thats more protection offered the millions of people falling through the cracks of America everyday.

Can’t wait till next week.

You Tube Music Video: Northern Exposure Theme

Risk: political theater

November 16, 2010 Posted by | media, politics | , , , , , | Leave a comment